Friday, December 28, 2012

The End of New Year's Resolutions


I’m celebrating the end of resolutions.  No more for me.  They should be banned.  Forget about resolutions.  Resolutions require “resolve” and most people lose their resolve by Jan 15th.   Instead, I recommend you focus on your vision—your destination—the big picture that defines what you truly want.  Sounds easy, right?  The problem, however, is most people don’t really know what they want.  That’s what keeps them stuck.  When you have unclear vision, you set unclear or unrealistic goals and it’s hard to get where you want to go.  We’ll talk later about setting clear goals, but let’s start with getting honest about what you really want. 

Adjust your focus.

Most people think too small or too narrowly when defining what it is they’re really after. Instead of thinking, “I want to lose weight,” ask yourself, “Why do I really want to lose weight?”  “What will this really mean for me?”  “Why is this important to me?”  Keep drilling the questions until you get to your real purpose.  Here’s an example:

Q:  Why do you want to lose weight?
A:  Because I’ll feel better, have more energy.
Q:  Why is that important to you?
A:  Because I’ll be able to do the things I couldn’t do before.
Q:  Like what? 
A:  Keep up with the kids, not be so tired and angry all the time, try on new clothes,
Q:  Why is that important to you?
A:  Because I want to be able to go hiking with my family and not be out of breath; because I want to feel better about myself; because I want to be have a more professional image; I want to like the way I look in pictures
Q:  So what will losing weight really bring you?
A:  Better self-esteem; happier home life; being a better role model for my family; satisfaction of knowing I did what I said I was going to do; more self-confidence

You get the idea?  Focus on the bigger picture of what you really want and keep that vision—that positive emotional feeling—in mind when you find yourself struggling to stay on track.  Instead of focusing on “losing weight,” focus on the destination—focus on fitness and a happier, healthier you which will spill over into other areas of your life. 

(Author’s note:  For me, I keep the big picture and a small picture in mind.  My small picture is to focus on the daily positive feeling.  Rather than dwell on how I hate hearing my alarm go off to get to my 5:00 a.m. workout, I focus on the feeling of how energized I feel when the workout is over and how great I feel the rest of the day!) 

This Q&A exercise (no pun intended) works for any goal you may have in mind.  If your goal is to be more organized, make more money, quit smoking, etc., ask yourself these same questions and get to the real heart of what you want.  Knowing your “why” will help you get from where you are to where you want to be!

Kathy Davenport is a Certified Success Coach, Motivational Speaker and Transformation Trainer.  To learn more about her work, visit her website at   

No comments:

Post a Comment