I’m celebrating the end of resolutions.
No more for me.
They should be banned. Forget about resolutions. Resolutions require “resolve” and most people lose their
resolve by Jan 15th.
Instead, I recommend you focus on your vision—your destination—the big
picture that defines what you truly want.
Sounds easy, right? The
problem, however, is most people don’t really know what they want. That’s what keeps them stuck. When you have unclear vision, you set
unclear or unrealistic goals and it’s hard to get where you want to go. We’ll talk later about setting clear
goals, but let’s start with getting honest about what you really want.
Adjust your
focus.
Most
people think too small or too narrowly when defining what it is they’re really
after. Instead of thinking, “I want to lose weight,” ask yourself, “Why do I
really want to lose weight?” “What
will this really mean for me?”
“Why is this important to me?”
Keep drilling the questions until you get to your real purpose. Here’s an example:
Q:
Why do you want to lose weight?
A:
Because I’ll feel better, have more energy.
Q:
Why is that important to you?
A:
Because I’ll be able to do the things I couldn’t do before.
Q: Like what?
A: Keep up with the kids, not be so tired
and angry all the time, try on new clothes,
Q: Why is that important to you?
A: Because I want to be able to go hiking
with my family and not be out of breath; because I want to feel better about
myself; because I want to be have a more professional image; I want to like the
way I look in pictures
Q: So what will losing weight really bring
you?
A: Better self-esteem; happier home life;
being a better role model for my family; satisfaction of knowing I did what I
said I was going to do; more self-confidence
You
get the idea? Focus on the bigger
picture of what you really want and keep that vision—that positive emotional feeling—in
mind when you find yourself struggling to stay on track. Instead of focusing on “losing weight,”
focus on the destination—focus on fitness and a happier, healthier you which
will spill over into other areas of your life.
(Author’s
note: For me, I keep the big
picture and a small picture in mind.
My small picture is to focus on the daily positive feeling. Rather than dwell on how I hate hearing
my alarm go off to get to my 5:00 a.m. workout, I focus on the feeling of how
energized I feel when the workout is over and how great I feel the rest of the
day!)
This
Q&A exercise (no pun intended) works for any goal you may have in
mind. If your goal is to be more
organized, make more money, quit smoking, etc., ask yourself these same
questions and get to the real heart of what you want. Knowing your “why” will help you get
from where you are to where you want to be!
Kathy Davenport is a
Certified Success Coach, Motivational Speaker and Transformation Trainer. To learn more about her work, visit her
website at www.kathleendavenport.com.
